Since the girls are with me constantly throughout the day, I have some great opportunities to teach them the value of a dollar and life long lessons on being thrifty. It brings a smile to my face when I overhear the girls saying to one another, “That’s not on sale or we don’t need that right now. We can wait until our birthday.”
In previous posts, I’ve mentioned my enjoyment with shopping at yard sales. If we don’t have any weekend plans, I limit myself to once or twice a month on Saturday mornings. Over the summer, I’ve also been frequenting thrift stores as well as our local Kid’s Consignment Store. Now that Faith and Grace are clearly out of the toddler sizes (they wear a size 6 or 7 in girls), their clothes are not cheap! In fact, they’re way more expensive. I’ve always been a bargain shopper at heart and even when the girls were smaller, I never paid full price for anything. I only purchased clothes from the clearance rack and often times, they would get the same outfit, simply because there was no other choice. For me, it wasn’t just about the cost (although that’s a big part). I just couldn’t rationally pay full price (x2) for something they were only going to wear (or fit into) for one season.
Also, in an effort to do my part as a conscientious wife and manager of the home, I feel that it’s my job to be thrifty (a Proverbs 31 Woman). Thankfully, the Lord has also made it my joy! There’s something quite pure and beautiful to me about teaching my children that everything we own does not have to be shiny and new. We can appreciate the blessing of something simply being, “new to us.”
Note: Being thrifty is not the same as being cheap (smile)!
I also believe in teaching a young child to grow in patience, self-control, financial responsibility, stewardship, eco-consciousness, and let’s not forget, the virtue of contentment.
Here are some criteria I use when shopping with my kids.
Distinguish between wants and needs. One way to avoid spoiling our children is to teach them in words and deeds that needs are important but wants are superfluous. Let’s face it, our kids want for nothing. And if you’re reading this, I’m sure your kids are the same. I’m always reminding the girls that God provides us with everything we need- the rest is fluff. Besides, that’s what grandparents are for (smile)! We leave it to friends and relatives, birthdays and Christmas to supply all their wants. I’ve never really spent any money on toys. And if I do, I have a $1 rule/limit. You’d be surprised what you can find at yard sales for $1.
Avoid buying expensive character-themed items and brand-name clothes. This further develops the idea of wants vs. needs. Your daughter may want the Disney Princess pajamas, but will she sleep just as comfortably in regular PJ’s that are half the price? Of course she will. It’s all about learning to follow rational thinking over immediate desires. It will also become a saving habit that will affect the rest of their lives.
Delay the gratification. Even we, as adults have issues with this, don’t we? We live in an instant gratification, instant messaging, instant world. Our kids are growing up in an impatient generation. My goal is to teach my kids to wait for the things they want but don’t need. If, after a long period of waiting, they finally get what they want, they will enjoy and appreciate it all the more.
Teach the value of a dollar. When my kids receive cash from relatives, they immediately put a percentage into their offering bucket for church. After that, they save a small portion for college, and then, they get to spend whatever’s left over. The wise old saying goes, to teach your child the value of a dollar, give him a dime. Encourage them to immediately save a portion each time, to think very carefully about how they will spend their money, and to be generous in buying little gifts for others.
Remember that less is more. The fewer toys your child has, the more she will appreciate them. The fewer toys there are at home, the more our kids will learn to share. The fewer toys in a room, the more space to play in. And the fewer toys we buy, the more money we save. In our home, I think we have a fair amount of toys but most people in our modern culture would probably think that we don’t have very many. The funny thing is, the girls have been quite entertained by two cardboard boxes all summer. Creativity and communication (between siblings) thrives when kids are not bombarded with an endless supply of toys.
Develop an attitude of gratitude. Let’s talk about perspective. Compared to most of the world’s children, our kids are extremely privileged. Moreover, while our children enjoy ice cream as a snack, other children are dying of starvation. The price of an “American Girl Doll” could probably feed a malnourished child in Africa for one year. Our children need to know this. Draw them out of their ego-centric little worlds and let them see the poverty and suffering of children in their city and around the world. This is so important!! Until they see it for themselves, they cannot comprehend the fact that other children are not like them. Encourage them to donate some of their toys and money to children who are less fortunate. Teach them to be thankful for what they have and constantly remind them of how blessed they truly are.
Model restraint and responsibility in your own spending. Even thrift store spending can get carried away if I don’t practice restraint. Spend less than you make, live below your means, and live debt free. Debt-free living gives you the freedom and mobility to do God’s will. Find ways to live more simply and frugally. Never get yourself in a situation where you may have to struggle financially. Trust me, we’ve been there. We never expected Morgan’s job to change two years ago but it did, and that’s why we decided to sell our house last year. There’s not a day that goes by that we are not grateful to God for actually allowing us to sell it! Financial stress is the number one cause of divorce in America. It’s not worth it to your marriage, your family, or your peace of mind. Remember, as Christians, we are called to be set-apart from the world and its desires. Choose your investments wisely, with biblical guidance. Our example speaks louder than words.
Saying “no” to your children’s unnecessary wants on a regular basis is not easy or fun. After all, it gives parents great pleasure to see their children’s faces light up with excitement when they’re handed a new toy or something they’ve been longing for. But these “no’s” are really big Yeses.
They are YES to the voices of reason and conscience. In some cases, it’s YES to standing up against peer pressure. YES to growing in patience and mastery over one’s desires. YES to financial responsibility and freedom. And YES to a happiness that lasts much longer than the fleeting pleasure of material goods.
To date, I’m thrilled to say that about 90% of all the girls’ clothing has been bought secondhand. For example…
The total for both of these outfits cost me $9. And that’s including the sparkly red shoes!
The total for these two outfits= $4.
The bottom line: My husband appreciates my efforts to be a thrifty and sensible wife. The bible says, “House and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the LORD.” ~ Proverbs 19:14
Morgan often praises me for not being the kind of wife who foolishly spends our money on frivolous and expensive things. I have to give props to my parents for that. They never wasted anything. In fact, they still don’t! Morgan also loves the fact that I can be trusted. As Christian wives, let us remember to honor our husbands by blessing them with reason, restraint, and sensibility. As help meets and mothers, may we joyfully serve our family in this small, yet significant way.
Amen Sister! great post!
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