So, this has become an important topic for me lately and one that I'll probably be writing more about.
Faith and Grace are 12 but in just a couple of months, they will be teenagers. Over the last couple of years, we've noticed more of their peers have phones. Yes, even within our conservative homeschooling community, kids as young as 10 have smart phones.
Last year, I took my kids on a field trip and I'm not even kidding when I say we saw a class of 8-9 year olds on their phones the whole time. In fact, their teachers reminded them to use their phones at their own risk because we were standing on a barge over water.
The studies are pouring in about cell phone use (and especially social media use) among our children.
We're learning that it can often result in addiction, anxiety, depression, suicide, and overall decline in mental health.
Think about it? Just 10-15 years ago, these were not problems we had to deal with. If kids wanted to "chat" or talk to a friend, they would need to call them from a home phone, go over to their house, or wait to see them at school.
My brother is the principal of an all-girls Catholic high school where he's worked for the last 25 years.
He's seen a lot of changes in that time and recently, he told me that they now have a permanent psychologist on staff. This is the new norm in schools.
It seems to me that its always been hard enough just to be a normal teenager without all those extra feelings that come along with your online social accounts. Not to mention thoughts like... What is everyone else doing? How many likes did I get? Is this photo share worthy? Can I think of a creative caption? Why does my life seem unexciting compared to hers?
I started following this guy named Collin Kartchner a few months ago and he's on a personal crusade to educate parents and save the kids from the dangers of smart phone use.
Here's an example of a post he wrote back in November.
I totally resonated with this post. Maybe it's because I have 7th graders myself or maybe it's because of the recent friend requests I've been getting from their peers.
It doesn't take a rocket scientist to understand that smart phones and social media accounts are playing a HUGE factor in the decline of our children's mental health.
Our girls do not have smart phones, iPads, or any other devices. They use the computer for math but they have no online access. Their math must be done at a specific seat on the dining room table, facing openly for everyone to see.
We've openly shared with them about the dangers of smart phone usage and to be honest, they notice a big difference in their peers who have phones vs. those that don't.
If your child has a smart phone, and if you're honest with yourself, you probably noticed a big difference in them when they got their phone. You can probably attribute many changes in their demeanor and emotions to that time.
Why is this no surprise? This isn't the first time I've read about tech executives banning the very thing in their home they helped to create for our society's "advancement" and culture.
Collin Kartchner recently came out with a TED talk. If you haven't seen this already, and you have children, please do yourself a favor and spend the next 17 minutes watching this. I wish I could send it to every parent I know.
Around Christmas time, I made a conscious effort to stay off my phone. I wanted to be more present with my family. I have to tell you, it didn't take long for me to realize that I, too, was addicted to my phone. I was addicted to checking my Instagram countless times throughout the day. I was addicted to scrolling to see what everyone else was doing and posting. My finger was addicted to going to the IG icon almost immediately when I was bored or had an extra minute.
After stepping back for a few days, I began to realize that everything I had read about how smart phones were affecting children was in someway, affecting me, too. I mean, let's be honest? How can it not be, right? Perhaps this was also the reason why I experienced a great deal of anxiety and fear last year? Perhaps this was the reason why I only had 51 blog posts in 2018?
I was talking to a girlfriend and she suggested that I move the IG icon on my phone. I did and now, I don't even know where it is anymore. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying IG is bad. I still use it to print our Chatbooks. I was simply devoting too much time to it and therefore, day by day, unbeknownst to us, it slowly begins to shape us. Instead, I've been spending time with my kids. Not just being in their presence but REALLY being present with them. Talking to them and having deep meaningful conversations. It's been AMAZING. In 5 years, the girls will be in college. College!! That's crazy to me. They're approaching their teenage years and they need me to be available and wholly invested more than ever. They need their mom.
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