Unschooling

Morgan and I are constantly learning more about homeschooling (and parenting, for that matter). When I think back to what our goals and expectations were when we first began our homeschooling journey, all I can do is laugh... and be humbled.

First off, we are so blessed to have a community of friends and their families who have come alongside us and support us on this adventure. Although we now know many homeschooling families, every family is different and honestly, that's the beauty behind it. There is no "one size fits all." It's interesting, I typically get three different reactions when I meet people for the first time and they find out we homeschool.

Reaction #1: Moms begin to tell me how they could never homeschool their kids. To that, I say, "Yeah, I know. I thought and said that, too." So often, that immediate reaction has more to do with lack of knowledge regarding homeschooling (particularly the socialization aspect), pre-fabricated ideals about school (after all, we went to "school" and we turned out OK), personal fears (do I really have what it takes to be a good teacher?), expectations and perhaps even criticism from other family members (they think we've flipped a lid!), or maybe even an unwillingness to give up our personal time (time to ourselves is so rare anyway). The point is, I totally understand these common reactions and before I prayed about it fervently and began my adventures in homeschooling, I felt and said all of the above.

Reaction #2: Other folks, upon hearing that we homeschool, begin to feel intimidated and therefore, feel the need to justify their own choices. It's kind of odd but they begin to tell me how much their kid (or grand kid) is learning in public school and how well they're doing. I had one of these encounters a few weeks ago. Once the woman found out we homeschool, she promptly began to tell me how impressed she was when her 6 year old daughter came home from school, knowing a U.S. President. She said, "Well, they must be teaching her something!" It was the week of President's Day.

Reaction #3: On rare occasion, I'll get the mom who is super interested in homeschooling and has always wanted to do it but her husband didn't think it was a good idea. I met a woman like this a couple of weeks ago. She had 3 young children, all under the age of 6. Ironically, she's a 2nd grade teacher.

All this to say that whatever path we as parents choose for our children, it should be respected. No one knows our children like we do and when it comes down to it, the main question and the bottom line should always be, "Am I doing the best thing for my child?" If and when we answer that question honestly, I believe no justification is necessary for our choices.

Besides, how boring would it be if we all made the same choices, right?! Enough said.

Anyhoo, Morgan and I have been introduced to some interesting data lately and it's something we're really excited about so I wanted to share it! I say I laugh when I think about our early days homeschooling because today, we have happily casted all those expectations aside and we're actually looking quite different from what I had first anticipated. A lot of that has to do with the fact that we've adopted a new method of schooling called, "unschooling."

The term "unschooling" was first coined in the 1970's by educator John Holt, widely regarded as the "father" of unschooling. Unschooling is sort of difficult to explain since there is no set way of doing things. Again, it looks different for each family.

Here's a brief description that may help:
Unschooling is a range of educational philosophies and practices centered on allowing children to learn through their natural life experiences, including child directed play, game play, household responsibilities, work experience, and social interaction, rather than through a more traditional school curriculum. Unschooling encourages exploration of activities led by the children themselves, facilitated by the adults. Unschooling differs from conventional schooling principally in the thesis that standard curricula and conventional grading methods, as well as other features of traditional schooling, are counterproductive to the goal of maximizing the education of each child.

The philosophy that children are natural learners.
A fundamental premise of unschooling is that curiosity is innate and that children want to learn. From this an argument can be made that institutionalizing children in a so-called "one size fits all" or "factory model" school is an inefficient use of the children's time, because it requires each child to learn a specific subject matter in a particular manner, at a particular pace, and at a particular time regardless of that individuals present or future needs, interests, goals, or any pre-existing knowledge he or she might have about the topic.

Many unschoolers also believe that opportunities for valuable hands-on, community-based, spontaneous, and real-world experiences are missed when educational opportunities are largely limited to those which can occur physically inside a school building.

In addition, in all our research, we have learned the Better Late Than Early approach to early childhood education is the one that makes the most sense to us. Children are more apt to learn and grow when they are developmentally ready. Did you know that 100 years ago in some states, it was against the law for children to go to school until they were 8 years old?

Therefore, we view these early years as nesting years. For us, that means home. Home is a place to explore, create, learn new life skills, make mistakes, ask tons of questions, read fabulous books, feel loved, valued, and accepted. Home is a place where we practice what we preach, enforce the rules, and test/know our boundaries.

It's amazing how naturally inquisitive children are. Faith and Grace are always eager to learn and ask interesting questions. We are big on teaching important and age appropriate life skills around here. In addition to their normal personal jobs ( I call them jobs and not chores), they've also been making their own breakfast and lunch. Right now, breakfast consists of cold cereal but they get out their bowls, the milk, the cereal containers, etc., while I cut up some fruit. One day soon, I have no doubt they'll be making breakfast burritos or a yummy casserole. For lunch, they're making peanut butter or turkey and cheese sammies. They enjoy doing it and relish the added responsibility.

On average, we read about 10 hours a week (1 hour in the morning and 1 hour in the afternoon). I don't count the weekends because even though we may read some, we're usually out doing something as a family. Morgan and I love reading to our children, just as much as they love learning from books. You know your children read a lot when you hear them playing with each other and they say things like, "... and then I exclaimed!" :) Haha!

We are accumulating quite a library of good literature around here and that makes me happy.

Other than that, we try and get out to play in nature as much as possible. Exploring nature always provides natural consequences as well as exercise, coordination, habits for a healthy lifestyle, and an appreciation for God's unique and wonderful creation.

In the evening, we play lots of card games as a family. Our favorites are Uno, Old Maid, and Go Fish. We also play other games, puzzles, or do show & tell. We limit our movie watching to one a week. It's never more than 30-40 mins. long and we always watch it as a family. We really enjoy the Hermie & Friends series. In other words, we don't use movies to passively sit our children in front of the TV. We have a saying (it's more like a rule) in our house that says, "Too much TV is bad, too much reading is good." I love that my kids say this often, without prompting. Other than that, the girls are allowed to watch one cooking show with me a week. What can I say, they love Giada, too.

The girls know their numbers, letters, months, days, continents, and can even read short words. However, we've stopped doing any workbooks or fill in the blank type worksheets altogether. It's so much more fun to read, write or do math as we're naturally living life. I keep small doodle pads in the car and they are often writing or creating something as we travel from place to place.

These are just some of the practices we've been embracing as a family. It's been working well for us and it's brought me so much more JOY as a mom/teacher. More than ever before, I'm feeling closer to my kids. I know it's primarily because I've changed the expectations I put on them, as well as on myself. In turn, I feel like we're getting closer to the real reason why we decided to homeschool in the first place- to promote the family unit, to lay strong foundational beliefs, to create a love of learning, to feel safe and loved, to learn what it means to socialize with people of all ages, and to feel close as an overall family.

So, how long will we be unschooling? Well, I'd like to think that we'll always be unschooling in some fashion. However, we plan to start incorporating some formal practices around age 7. Until then, my new school room has ironically become the "Unschooling Room"- a place where we joyfully create, play dolls, read, paint, color, draw, pretend, play games, and work on projects... Basically, anything that has to do with learning, having fun, or being inspired!

Sounds good to me!