Our decision to adopt this time around feels a bit different from the first time we said yes. The first time we didn’t have any children so the thought of forming a family through the beauty of adoption was our underlying motivation. Sure, we had a heart for adoption anyway. We knew there were millions of kids out there that needed a loving and forever home. We trusted God through every detail of the girls’ adoption and we still marvel today and how He orchestrated our lives to come together. The last 6+ years have been nothing short of amazing.
We are truly, truly blessed. Life has been rich and joyous.
This time around, I’d be lying if I said the decision to adopt again was an easy one. For a few years, Morgan and I had talked about the idea of adopting again but ultimately, it only led us to our default responses:
- four is a good number for a family
- the girls are getting older
- we’re certainly not getting any younger
- we have new and exciting vacations/experiences planned (in our minds)
- maybe we should start thinking about buying retirement property?
- more kids cost more money
- we’re in a great rhythm/flow
- life is good and full
- and perhaps the biggest overriding theme to our reasoning… we’re quite comfortable.
See, all reasonable responses, right?
Except for the fact that for the past year or so, Morgan and I have been on a journey. We have sought, wholeheartedly, the will of the Father in our lives. We have desired to be more than just a Believer. Our Lord calls us to be a Follower.
He whispers, “Come, follow me.”
Well, low and behold, it turns out a Christian (a Christ Follower) must actually follow Christ. This requires action, surrender, and yes, even death. As a Follower, we cannot simply pick and choose what aspects of Christ we wish to follow and ignore all the rest.
In fact, Jesus says, “If anyone wants to be my true disciple, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for Me will find it.” ~Matthew 16:24-25
Little by little, in our hearts, we knew our “default responses” had more to do with our worldly flesh. In other words, like many Americans, we loved our “comfortable life” in our self-serving world. Jesus calls us to be many things, however, I’m pretty sure “comfortable” isn’t one of them.
We knew deep down, we were created for so much more. And so, gradually, we came to a crossroads. When you’ve answered the call to “Come, follow me”, and you say to yourself and to God, “I’m all in,” there comes a point in your life when you have to count the cost, and then choose.
You see, the notion of disrupting our lives as we know it, wasn’t. going. away.
In fact, it was becoming clearer and clearer. God was interfering with the dreams and plans we had for our future.
The last year has been an incredible journey to the heart of our Maker. He knew all about our doubts and fears but He also knew our love for Him was greater. He began slowly chipping away at our excuses and our plans.
He asked tough questions like, “Do you want to live your life in comfort for yourself?”
Or, “Do you want to live a life, worthy of your calling, a truly FULL and ABUNDANT life?
Jesus said, “I came so that you may have life, and live it more abundantly.” ~John 10:10
Could it be that the life we were so bent on hanging onto wasn’t the kind of full life He had in mind for us? Could it be that our hands were trying to clench onto our own plans and dreams, instead of gratefully opening them up to His plans and purposes? Could it be that the days we were afraid of walking into, might actually be the best days of our life?
Again, He says, “Come, follow me.”
In the bible, Jesus says these words 23 times. I often felt like Simon Peter- so human, so flawed, yet so desperately wanting to follow our Lord.
Jesus Reinstates Peter
Jesus asked him, “Simon Peter, do you love me more than these? “Yes, Lord, you know I love you.” Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.” Again Jesus said, “Simon, do you love me” He answered, “Yes, Lord you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.” The third time to said to him, “Simon, do you love me?”
Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.”
Jesus said, “Feed my sheep. Very truly I tell you, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go.” Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. Then he said to him, “Follow me!”
The truth is, we know our lives are not our own. We died on the day we accepted Christ. He gave us a new life, bought by His precious blood. The reality is, this life that we’re so comfortable with isn’t all there is. And although God gives us the experience of enjoyment and comfort, He certainly doesn’t want us to settle in there. This life, this time we have here is about using whatever gifts and talents He’s given us to serve and love others (especially the least of these), to further His Kingdom, and to make disciples of all nations.
And so, for us, we count the cost of discipleship, we search within our own hearts, we take a small step towards doing the hard but holy things, and most importantly, all the while, we trust.
We trust Him to work out the details once again. We trust Him to know what’s best for us and for our family. We trust Him, even when we cannot see the way.
We trust Him, simple because we know He is the Way. The Truth. The Life.
And He beckons, “Come, follow me.”
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