Beauty... revisited

Why is it that we women often feel the need to put ourselves down? I am speaking specifically about comments we make regarding our physical appearance- weight, beauty, age, etc. Is it because we feel that if we put it out there first, then everyone else would know what we already perceive to be the obvious? Or perhaps in some way, we view it as a form of humility? Maybe we speak negatively about ourselves because in actuality, we are fishing for a compliment? I suppose since I am the mother of two little ladies now, I am more aware and self-conscious of this self-deprecating kind of talk. In the past, talking to my girlfriends about how much weight I've gained or how much I wanted to lose was actually considered a "bonding moment." In the last couple of years (since the girls can now understand me), I have refrained from discussing my weight or any other physical attributes in a belittling manner. The last thing we'd want as mothers is to project our own insecurities on to our children. For example, if my girls overheard me calling myself fat, this will then skew their image of what "fat" really means (by the way, we don't use the word "fat" to describe anyone). After all, they trust and believe everything that we adults tell them. This also rings true for our impressionable sons as well as our daughters. We don't want our young boys to grow up thinking that mom was never happy about the way she looked or that physical beauty is far more important than inner beauty. This in turn, may give them a warped perception of women in general and eventually, lead them to the wrong spouse. What ever happened to the days when little boys thought their mothers were so beautiful that they wanted to marry them when they grew up?

Another thing that I've learned over the years is the fact that our husbands don't really want to hear it anyway. I don't know any man who enjoys hearing his wife complain or whine about how she needs to lose weight, change a certain body part, or the fact that she is just plain getting older. Let me first say that this isn't something I realized because of anything Morgan did or didn't do. Lord knows that he's heard me criticize myself plenty of times over the years. On the contrary, one day, I just realized that what I often choose to see in the mirror, is not what my husband sees. Women can be so critical at times, can't we? My husband thinks that I am the most beautiful (and sexy!) woman in the world. And that wouldn't change because of my dress size. He often compliments me and makes me feel lovely. Just think, what if I kept telling him otherwise? He may actually start to believe it! Not to mention, a husband wants his wife to be happy. Discontentment, even when it's about oneself, is an extra burden for our husbands to carry. In light of the sex-saturated world we live in today, wives would do well to be careful when defining what "ideal" is for their husbands.

"The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down." -Proverbs 14:1

Consequently, I've learned that there are only 3 choices for us to make when it comes to feeling better about ourselves.

1. DO SOMETHING about it if it really bothers you. Exercise and eat healthy. You will have more energy and feel great. It's not about the size or number, it's about how you feel.

2. EMBRACE IT and find joy in the changes and maturity that come with a blessed and long life.

3. GUARD YOUR EYES- Jesus warned us that we become what we see. Refrain from TV shows, books, magazines, movies, and music that portray women in a superficial way.

It's amazing how beautiful one becomes in the light and confidence of God's standards.

"The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." -1 Samuel 16:7

When it comes to our children, we all know that more is caught than taught.
We already live in a world where too much emphasis is put on how we look physically. It is being ingrained at every turn, in every little boy and girl in our society. Let us not perpetuate this notion by starting this type of false worthiness from within our very own homes.