Last week, I had a rough start to the beginning of the week. When Morgan goes out of town on business, I naturally begin to feel a bit more stressed with the kids.It also didn't help that it rained all week and we were pretty much house bound. It never rains here in the desert! I'm sorry to say that I was developing a pattern that I didn't like in me. On top of being a single parent on those days when Morgan was gone, I was also getting more and more agitated because of the additional responsibilities and commitments that I had. Throw in an afternoon where one child decides that they aren't napping that day and I begin to wonder if I have any patience left at all! It was a rocky couple of days and by mid-week, I became so frustrated with the person I was turning into. Let's just say, it wasn't pretty.
Forward now to Thursday. Thank God for new mercies every day! I am still thanking the Lord for revealing something to me that changed my attitude and my heart. One of the things he brought to my attention was this fact... I AM NOT A GOOD MULTI-TASKER. There, I said it. The funny part is that all this time, I thought I was. I'm not talking about things like folding laundry, talking on the phone, and cooking dinner at the same time. I'm referring more specifically to the fact that I cannot possibly give my children what they need and be who I want to be for them when I have other obligations, commitments, and yes, even things that I want to do for myself (i.e. work-out or call a girlfriend). In fact, it was because of this busyness and selfishness that I was creating a pattern of being exactly the opposite of what I wanted to be for my family. I was definitely not acting in a lowly or gentle manner. I often found myself being short, acting like I was put-out in some way, yelling, and becoming even more stressed in the process.
Being a stay-at-home mom, I am busier than I've ever been in my whole life. Yes, it's true. All of the busyness may be a good kind of busy but when it comes down to it, it was making me and my family suffer. And you know what they say, "When mommy ain't happy, ain't no one happy."
It may sound kind of silly or even harsh but I cannot thank God enough for showing me that my children are never an inconvenience. They are a precious gift, entrusted to me and my husband. Aside from all the other ministry work out there, my #1 ministry is that of motherhood. Prior to last week, I had already decided that I was stepping down from serving so much next year and although I will finish out my commitments with dedication, I am sincerely grateful that God has opened my eyes to the greatest and most rewarding ministry, right under my own roof.
The result- the last 6 days in my home have been so wonderful and filled with so much peace and love. It's amazing how quickly children can feed off of our good (and bad) energy.
Lord, thank you for opening my eyes. I am so grateful to be working on this issue today, and not years from now. Help me to develop new habits of lowly gentleness and by serving my family, may it bring glory and honor to You. Lord, you know my desire and intention to raise my children for You. Thank you for guiding me, speaking truth into my life, and encouraging me to do just that. Forgive me for my selfishness and let me find rest, joy, contentment, and purpose in You alone.
Lastly, I stumbled across this blog and thought it was another great reminder of the kind of mom and wife that God wants me to be. Below is just a part of the post. I encourage you to click on the link when you have time and read the rest.
The gentle and quiet spirit described in 1 Peter is something that God puts a high value on. It is a spirit that is at peace, is resting in God, is calm.
What causes a woman to lose her gentle spirit?
Many things can interfere with gentleness. But if a woman is not gentle, she may be (and probably is) frazzled, harried, anxious, distracted, bitter, or nagging. A gentle wife is like a tame animal, easily approached, not jumpy or skittish, like an animal in the wild. When her husband comes to her, he is easily received with affection and finds nourishment and comfort. Her children also can be expect to be received with gladness. But if the family has to walk on eggs around mom, she most likely does not have the gentleness described here. If she is unpredictable, touchy, easily irritated, accusative, or fussy, she does not have a gentle spirit. Lowliness and gentleness go together, so the way to gentleness is to be humble. Jesus is lowly in heart and we find rest for our souls in Him. Husbands and children should be able to find rest for their souls in (in a limited way of course) in wife/mom.
And the only way for wives/mothers to be this kind of resource is to be filled themselves with the gentleness of Christ.
What causes a woman to lose her gentle spirit?
Many things can interfere with gentleness. But if a woman is not gentle, she may be (and probably is) frazzled, harried, anxious, distracted, bitter, or nagging. A gentle wife is like a tame animal, easily approached, not jumpy or skittish, like an animal in the wild. When her husband comes to her, he is easily received with affection and finds nourishment and comfort. Her children also can be expect to be received with gladness. But if the family has to walk on eggs around mom, she most likely does not have the gentleness described here. If she is unpredictable, touchy, easily irritated, accusative, or fussy, she does not have a gentle spirit. Lowliness and gentleness go together, so the way to gentleness is to be humble. Jesus is lowly in heart and we find rest for our souls in Him. Husbands and children should be able to find rest for their souls in (in a limited way of course) in wife/mom.
And the only way for wives/mothers to be this kind of resource is to be filled themselves with the gentleness of Christ.
-Nancy Wilson @ femina
beautifuly stated. amazing how God was working on you while he was also working on nourishing the desert here with so much rain. I love how self reflective you are. It's an encouragement to me.
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