The Great Pursuit

In the midst of motherhood and living a busy life for the last year or so, there has been a clear and relentless presence in my life that has not left my side. He has been there patiently waiting, encouraging, pursuing, forgiving, and loving me unconditionally. I am speaking of the One who desires a closer relationship with me on a daily basis. God has been gently waiting on me with anticipation! The thing with God is that He never pushes, nags or tramples. He waits, actively. All the while, giving me glimpses of His power, peace, grace and unfathomable love.

Each morning, I wake up early. Not because I particularly want to. I just do. Although I pray every morning and read a devotional or two before starting my day, I have recently been feeling like God is giving me this time as a way for me to draw closer to Him. Truth be told, I've known this for a while now but shortly after it came to my heart's attention, it became something that I pushed aside; put on the back-burner. I thought, maybe someday things will just change? Maybe someday I will want to delve deeper into His word again? Maybe someday I will be a more passionate Christian like I used to be, instead of the lukewarm one that I've become? Why was I feeling this way? After all, it's not as if I don't spend any time with God. I read His word, pray, go to church, and serve. Had motherhood and life really taken that much energy from me? Or worse, was I just plain lazy?

Although I realize that this season of life requires time and devotion towards my family, my heart has been telling me that the few moments I do spend with God should be more intentional. In other words, I need to be more "present" in those moments. My time with God is not something to be checked off my "to-do list." Instead, it is to be the essential fuel and nourishment needed to help me get through each day. What greater gift can I give my family?

Oh Lord, you know how I long to feel your presence daily, how much I need you and how above all else, I seek your wisdom and will for my life. You are my everything. You are the beginning and the end. My Creator and Redeemer. My Father and Friend. Thank you for instilling that very small voice within me. Thank you for allowing me to sit still long enough to listen.... really listen. And thank you for your never-ending pursuit of my heart and soul.