I was broken yesterday. I let my emotions and my tiredness get the best of me. I gave in to sin, yelled at my children, had a poor attitude, and needed a time-out, badly. After feeling overwhelmed, frustrated, and guilty, I sat alone in the afternoon and prayed earnestly. I didn’t even like who I was in that last hour. I confessed my sinfulness and asked God to forgive me and restore my heart. God gently reminded me, when we confess and repent of our sins, He wipes them away, never to remember them again.
"REPENT, THEN, AND TURN TO GOD, SO THAT YOUR SINS MAY BE WIPED OUT, THAT TIMES OF REFRESHING MAY COME FROM THE LORD." – Acts 3:10
When the girls got up from their nap, I had a warm and loving talk with each of them. I apologized for my behavior and told them there was no excuse to yell at them. I humbly asked for their forgiveness and told them I had already prayed, confessed, and asked God to forgive me. Now I was asking them. They immediately forgave me and told me that they loved me. Lots of cuddles and kisses followed.
After seeking the Lord’s grace (and getting a little rest), I was restored and refreshed. The rest of the day went smoothly. With a humble heart, I thanked the Lord for getting me back on track.
As we tucked the girls into bed last night, the Lord blessed me with something else. Something unexpected.
While kissing and hugging Faith, she whispered, “Mom, can I tell you something?”
Me: (in her ear) Yes.
Faith: I love you.
Me: Thank you, sweetie. I love you very much, too. Thanks for telling me.
Faith: Mom, can I tell you something else?
Me: Sure.
Faith: You’re the best mom ever.
Me: Aww, thank you for saying that but I know I’m not. Especially today.
Faith: Mom, can I tell you something else?
Me: Sure.
Faith: I couldn’t ask for a better mom.
Me: Thank you for blessing me, honey (now teary-eyed). You are such a special gift to me. I love you.
Our whole conversation was in a whisper so even though Grace was lying in her bed, talking with daddy, she couldn’t hear what was going on between me and Faith.
When it came time for me to say goodnight to Grace, she whispered, “Mom, can I tell you something?”
Me: Sure.
Grace: I love you, mom.
As I left their room, I said, “Thank you, Lord. Thank you for the gift of my children. Thank you that even though I’m hard on myself, You always find ways to bless me and lovingly reassure me. Your grace is undeserved but I am so thankful that You alone can take my brokenness and make me whole.”
God said, “Catherine, I know all about your sins and your weaknesses. I don’t expect you to be perfect. My desire for you is to Seek Me, Need Me, Trust Me, and Praise Me- in all circumstances. After all, the world does not consist of mothers who do no wrong. Through your weaknesses, I want you to teach your children that everyone needs a Savior.”
For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. ~Romans 3:23
Only God can turn our sin into something for His good and glory.
Learning to seek and rely on Christ; seeking humility and surrendering every part of our lives; having a repentant heart; accepting God’s abundant grace; and ultimately, being reconciled and restored…
Truly, the hallmarks of a life remade in Christ.
Some days, we just need to be saved from ourselves.
After all, aren’t we all broken?
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