The Promise

Have you ever heard God say something to you that was so real and so certain? 

About five years ago, I heard God’s voice speak to me in a way that was undeniable. It wasn’t an audible voice per se, but it was something I heard in the depths of my heart and felt deep within my soul.

One morning, as I sat in the back of church, listening to a woman share her testimony at a ladies bible study, it was then that I heard God say to me, “I will give you a son.”

To be clear here, this kind of thing does not happen to me often. In fact, it’s never happened to me again (not in this way) since that day. When I came home, the promise was so REAL that I shared it with Morgan and we quietly rejoiced over this amazing news. It was difficult to contain my excitement so I even went so far as to share this news with a couple of my close girlfriends.

Fast forward a few years and still nothing had happened. We weren’t getting pregnant and life with our twins was becoming quite comfortable. We were happy.

But…

There was that promise.

I never forgot it.

There were times when I wished I could. Times when I wondered, “Maybe I heard it all wrong?”

Yet all the while, I could not shake what I knew to be true.

A couple more years passed and there were moments when I doubted. I even tried to make concessions for God. I would reason to myself that my life was full and it was good…

…with or without a son.

It’s OK, God. Really, it is. I still love you.

But how very foolish of me to think that I would ever need to make concessions for our Sovereign God. The Alpha and the Omega. The Creator of heaven and earth and everything.

God does not make promises He does not intend to keep.

He is the God of the bible and His word is the very cornerstone of our faith. He is the Living God. His covenants were not only for Abraham, Sarah, Noah, and Moses—but they are for me.

It’s been quite a journey to our son.

About 2 years ago, it led us to open our hearts and home to care for the least of these through the Safe Families program. It was through that experience that we seriously started considering adoption again. Much of this adoption process, I’ve remained quiet. Partly, because I had the daily responsibility of caring for my family while being present in the moments but also, because I needed to learn how to be still, patient, and surrendered before the Lord. He has taught me so much in the way of love and sacrifice over these last couple of years. I’m not sure I’m even the same person I once was.

In choosing a name for our son, I was reminded that at times, our faith may have wavered, but His never did. There were times when we may have doubted the promise we heard five years ago, but thankfully, God is God and He remembers His covenants with His people.

We had a list of names we were considering for our new son but after we met him and reflected on the grace of this beautiful journey, we named him…

 Zachary Benjamin 

Zachary, the Lord has remembered and Benjamin, son of my right hand; son of my old age.

God has blown us away. In His providence, He has once again, chosen us and blessed us with life, love, and a family that has been divinely knit together.

And in the process He has given us a powerful and humbling testimony of

His great FAITHFULNESS and the HOPE we have in Him!