Inner Beauty

I've been thinking a lot about it lately. I guess that comes with the territory when you're raising girls. I believe that every woman wants to be beautiful. It's just the way God made us. But more important than having an outward, physical beauty, I believe that each one of us has the desire to have the kind of beauty that is not only seen but felt. The kind of inner beauty that radiates a confidence about knowing who you are, where you've been, how far you've come, and all the while, eagerly awaiting what lies ahead.
The kind of inner beauty that I wish I had, long before I finally realized the truth. Up until I started dating Morgan, I was searching. Not necessarily in the sense of a partner, but more in the sense of myself. I longed to feel accepted, beautiful, loved, and adored. Doesn't everyone? But today, as a more mature woman, I know that that longing can lead down some risky and dangerous paths. As a child and teenager, I rarely felt beautiful. There are perhaps many reasons for that... Cultural background, hard-working parents, my shy nature as a child, just plain teenage awkwardness, the list goes on.

I believe that the most profound reason for my sense of longing and searching is because I didn't know the truth about who I was in God.
I didn't know that I was His precious child- a Princess to the King!
I didn't know that He had ordained every moment, every breath of my life. That He knew everything about me and still loved me more than I could ever fathom. I didn't know that He had a very special plan for me and that He would actively wait on me until the day I called His name and found Him. I didn't know that He sent His only Son to die on the cross, for me. Sure, I had heard it before but I never personally took it to heart. I didn't realize that the God of the universe could also be the very intimate and personal God of my soul.

Then God sent me Morgan. He was the first guy that I felt like I could truly be myself with. Underneath all the make up, hair, and clothes,
I was just me. Imperfect, insecure, and OK me. Perhaps it was the friendship that we had first built over the years that made things easy but eventually when we started dating, Morgan made me feel beautiful, lovely, appreciated, and most of all, worthy. He also encouraged my walk of faith and through his support, love and participation, I have quietly and slowly learned to see myself as God sees me.

Like most introspective and personal posts, I contemplated writing this one too but again, in the end, I chose to write it for my daughters. There is nothing more important that I want my daughters to know, than the truth about who they are in God. I believe that this will shape their lives, help them to understand their significant and valued place in this world, and give them that confidence and peace that only comes from knowing God's word and trusting in Him. It took me a long time to realize that the world cannot validate me or give me self-worth. Believe me, that road is a long and exhausting one. Through the gift of faith and delving into His word, I have heard the Lord gently whisper, "You are precious. You are worthy. You are beautiful." Have you ever met someone who's inner light shines so brightly that no matter what their physical attributes are, they simply radiate beauty? I have. And you know what? That's the kind of beauty I want- ageless and timeless.

In the book, Captivating by Stasi Eldredge, I recently read....
A woman of true beauty is a woman who- in the depths of her soul- is at rest; trusting God because she has come to know Him to be worthy of her trust. She exudes a sense of calm, a sense of rest, and invites those around her to rest as well. She speaks comfort, she assures her listeners that all is well, that all will be well. A woman of true beauty offers the grace to be and the room to become...

Our girls are the most beautiful things that I have ever laid my eyes on. It bring me to tears to look into their eyes and see their sweet smiles and faces sometimes. I pray that as their parents, we will help them to see the unique beauty that lies within each of them. Not only by teaching them what God thinks of them but by our actions and our spoken words. May they know without a doubt, how incredibly lovely and worthy they are. Not only to us, but more importantly, to their Heavenly Father and Maker who adores them even more than we as parents ever can. May they walk this life, holding onto and claiming that truth for themselves deep within their very core.