I haven’t had a chance to write much from my heart lately. It’s not because I haven’t wanted to.
It’s more because life has been full.
Full of love, laughter, and light…
Reading, watching, doing, riding… and living.
However, there are times in life when things can get a little messy. And I still have a lot to learn when it comes to messy.
Ministry can be messy. As much as I’d like for the situations where I’ve been called to reach out in love, end up to be these tidy little packages that I can clean up, repackage, decorate with a bow, and place on a shelf to be admired, love doesn’t always work out that way. Sometimes, in the midst of a full and beautiful life, things can get messy.
I don’t know about you but I don’t do well with unexpected night time phone calls.
I don’t do well with curve balls and potential life changers.
I don’t do well with drama, volatility, or instability.
I don’t do well with sleepless nights and torn emotions.
Do you? Does anyone?
It’s been a long while since I’ve remembered that love involves risk. And sometimes, that risk comes back to bless you but other times, you’re so torn and weary that you wish you would have never taken that risk to begin with.
However, God is not at all surprised by our circumstances and thankfully He is a faithful God. He has a plan for our lives and every situation that we commit to Him.
Sometimes, in life, as much as we want to help and fix things, we are not the answer.
The answer is God.
As a seeker of beauty in life, I’m learning that messy can also be beautiful. It all depends on our perspective. In my particular case, I have grown to a place of utter reliance and empathy.
Reliance on the One whose plans are far greater than my own. Reliance on the One who can take broken, ugly, and messy and weave them into a tapestry of brilliant beautiful art.
And empathy for the ones who deserve it the least, but need it the most. (Don’t we all?)
That’s the payoff and the beauty of a messy, untidy life.
It’s all necessary. It’s all worship, art, growth… and the Gospel.
And so, we walk forward. We keep clinging to the Cross. We continue to love.
And we silently (yet openly) thank God for the messy in the beautiful- because Christ is redeeming everything.
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