Positive Adoption Language

During one of the required pre-adoption classes we attended last year, we learned some informative information regarding positive adoption language vs. negative adoption language. Generally speaking, we don't consider ourselves overly sensitive people and for the most part, we believe that people are well-intentioned. Sometimes the words we use may convey a lack of education or experience on the matter at hand. Because words can be so powerful, we thought this blog entry would be beneficial for all of us.

Positive Language vs. Negative Language

Birthparent vs. Real Parent
Biological parent vs. Natural Parent
Birth child vs. Own Child
My child vs. Adopted child
Born to unmarried parents vs. Illegitimate
Terminate parental rights vs. Give up
Make an adoption plan vs. Give away
To parent vs. To keep
Waiting child vs. Adoptable child or Available child
Parent vs. Adoptive parent
International adoption vs. Foreign adoption
Child placed for adoption vs. An unwanted child
Child from abroad vs. Foreign child
Was adopted vs. Is adopted

Words not only convey facts, they also evoke feelings. While we (as parents) may understand what people mean when they say "real mom/dad/child," the important thing to keep in mind is that a child may not understand how his or her mommy and daddy could be anything but real.

The poem is called The Answer by Fleur Conkling Heyliger.